Monday, June 7, 2010

A Letter to Governor Charlie Crist from the Principled Moderates of Florida

Dear Governor Crist,

It is the richest opportunity I have ever achieved that you may now have finally found occasion for response, sir! I must admit that many, many months ago – at the apex of your popularity – it seemed that such an effort would have gone unnoticed. However, now that the far right and the tea-tossers have parted ways with your campaign and you have decided to run as an independent, I now find the condition for our correspondence much improved and I am giddy at the possibility of a prompt reply.

In the case that my enthusiasm has not already revealed any positions which I might possess, political or otherwise, I will now employ this liberty to earnestly and excitingly disclose to you, Governor, that I am your one remaining supporter.

Yes! That fool of a State House Speaker – your former opponent for the Florida Senatorial Republican nomination – Marco Rubio, in one of history's greatest errors, took exception to the President's mandate and ran his campaign on a promise to oppose the urgent and necessary actions taken by Washington to assist our recovery from the greatest economic crisis since the great depression!

But not you, Governor! When the State of Florida faced economic downturn, you accepted the much needed federal stimulus funds and cried to the long-dead ghosts of conservatism past, “... You can't just … [say] you're going to do great things and stand on principle or politics above the people of your state that you're supposed to serve.”

Oh, Governor Crist! A more prescient and grammatically troubled sentiment – I swear – has never been more eloquently arranged!


Who needs hindrances such as those?

Did you balk when Senator Connie Mack, your supposed political mentor, disowned you? Of course not! And when your great friend, Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, argued against the outcome of your tough political decisions, you stood strong! Even when he decried:

When Republicans were fighting in a principled way... Governor Crist, incorrectly in my opinion, supported the stimulus package. That was a mistake. And I consider it unforgivable in the sense we're now in a battle for our country's future.

Mr. Crist, I was at first confounded at what seemed the central charge of your campaign, until I came to realize the genius of your tactics. A portion of the public, myself included, presumed you were actually going to begin to support crazy tea-bagger like notions of individual choice and private property when you said:

I look through almost every issue through the prism of less taxing, less spending, less government and more freedom. I also understand that we're in a tough economy right now, and when you're in a tough economy, sometimes you have to do the kinds of things that make sense in order to be able to keep people employed.

Upon closer inspection of this statement, I fully understood your meaning: when the economy is in a downturn and people cannot find work, the sensible actions are to raise taxes, increase spending, expand government, and limit freedom.


And when you declared that you wanted to scrap and replace the health care reform bill, you said it with such conviction that you nearly totally lost my support until you added that, “preexisting instances should not be a discriminatory tool that's used by insurance companies to not give people insurance.”

Charlie Crist! As Thomas Jefferson said of Patrick Henry – you speak as Homer wrote!

Once I fully perceived the intent of your message, I realized that any health care measure that you would support over the current reform bill would be, in principle, no different from the original. The end result would be the same: the elimination from the marketplace of private insurers and the subsequent emergence of the public option.


It takes a short amount of time to reason through your brilliantly circuitous exhortations to discover evidence for the interventionist inspiration peppered throughout!

Once I came upon the brilliance of your strategy – to appear as what you are not – I knew that great things were not far displaced from formal action. That the days of chameleon were finished. The days of primaries were over.

You are now an Independent.

No need to appeal to your base and then, like a reed in the wind, sway back toward the middle ground. You can appeal straight to me – your lone supporter. On your inauguration day, Future Senator, please find solace in the truth of this tendency:

Once initiated, the powerful gain potential to become guileless.

After five campaigns for political office, you may finally forego dishonesty and simply be yourself. If people such as us can still remember who we are.

With hopes that your star does not fade, but in the end, finds its rightful place among the great moderates of history... whose names, for the moment, escape me.

Yours most passionately and ambivalently,
The Principled Moderates

No comments:

Post a Comment